Anger and the case of being treated like a victim for the ‘privilege’ of being included:
Airports
Well – just go see the article I wrote about the plane ride from hell. What can I say except that it feels like you are voluntarily walking into prison where they get to do whatever they want to you for the price of getting somewhere fast. And I mean WHAT EVER THEY WANT. Isn’t the fact that I have already paid an enormous amount to fly enough, or is it that there is a whole brood of people out there who wanted to be prison guards and didn’t make the cut -those that enjoy the ‘power’ trip of inflicting attitudes of distain on others????
Concerts
This is sad, but here it is. They have made concerts that you pay to hear a privilege not only by the cost, but also by the extreme security at the gates to get in. It was about as bad as going through airport security to get into the concert on Friday. There were two check points, one where they looked at you and asked to you empty all of your stuff out of your pockets and your purse and then you went and got wanded and then you could show them your tickets.
You wind up paying them to treat you like a victim and make you feel that way. It’s the mind set it creates. The one that is done by a person specifically hired with a control/enjoyment dysfunction. I say dysfunction because it is not natural to enjoy making people feel like they are wrong when they aren’t by making them a victim to any kind of search or invasion as a price for their next action – like walking through a gate. Isn’t the fact that I have already paid a lot of money to see a concert enough? (I can’t say that Derek Trucks was not worth it – he is one of the last living experts of the style ala Allman Bros. left and he has taken it a step further with his own creativity – and for that I was amazed and grateful) I won’t be going back to that venue – ever.
Gov’t buildings
The same way you must almost disrobe to go into an airport, so you must in a gov’t building for the privilege of walking in the front doors of a building that is dedicated to public service…? And while there, not one of the people who are there for public service treat you like you are a human being – you become a piece of dust to be flicked off their clothing lest contact with you soil their pristine something or other.
Hospitals
Here, they’ve got you whether you want to be got or not. Because they are of the healing persuasion, it is not obvious but you are still surveilled.
So here it is, the point of pointing this out. I have never liked authority and that is putting it mildly. From my first memories to now. Nothing raises my hackles faster, or tempts me sorer to be mean to others than the kind of bullshite mentioned above. I intrinsically understand that kind of behavior comes from a controlling attitude born out of extreme fear of another. That any of us allow that to happen in our lives is amazing to me. When it is forced on me I trigger and become livid. It is very hard to keep my mouth shut, even when I know what is happening and try to pull out of the emotion and see it from above. I’m still really pissed. The only choice I then have is to leave – and or never come back. In an effort to have a bit more control over myself I have tried to decode my inner movements when I encounter this, but all I can come up with is my mom’s favorite, ‘Rise above it, Alison’. I weigh this with having the freedom to say something – but in a neutral and polite manner, which when you are feeling affronted, to say the least, is difficult. Ahem.
However, if you don’t deal with being activated, it then comes out in unkindness to others later on like at Panera yesterday when they informed me they didn’t have my favorite cream cheese and didn’t know if they would be getting it back – when you know the person who is telling you this doesn’t care one way or the other and you’ve just been told to: go away.
So… I take my bagel outside and sit in the air to eat it and begin hearing little kitten distress calls. Me being me, I had to investigate. I found the little fellow and picked him up to make sure he was ok and got thoroughly bitten for my efforts. (yeah he was fine, fat and sassy and really beautiful and upset he couldn’t find mom) This landed me in the hospital for examination and antibiotics to avoid cat bite disease where, thankfully I was allowed to refuse a tetanus shot. Which today leaves me wondering about the state of the world where nothing – not even simple enjoyment is free and what this lesson means to me – this cat bite – and holding my emotions in about being abused (however mildly) by just going to a concert. But I know how the cat felt by being picked up and examined without knowing who or what was going on, how its terror did not allow it to see I meant no harm – just the opposite. But hey, the cat and I were literally on the same page: “Don’t fuck with me”…
What can I say? (are there any caves out there for rent?)
Thursday night on Fade to Black Jimmy and John Rappaport talked at the end of John’s report and their final comments were about the singularity meme. The police state snuck in while we weren’t looking, or while we were diverted by Kim Kardashian’s ass, what’s to say that the singularity hasn’t happened a while ago too and we simply decided to not notice – about the time human decency became too complicated for a confused world.
In the Mind's Eye 