To be the hand of the murderer

I need to say this.

How it feels to be the hand of the murderer is something I have needed to blog about, but have had a hard time facing. I helped my mother to die (The Last Heroic Act). At least she was in her own home, but that is about all I can say in a positive light about it.

Why am I calling myself that hand of the murderer? Because I really do believe there are new technologies out there that could cure things like stage 4 small cell carcinoma with something as innocuous as light and frequency:

Novobiotronics’ scientists have been investigating the use of a new type of technology known as PEFT (Plasma Emission Field Treatment) as a possible nontoxic, noninvasive and inexpensive means of treating cancer cells. Initial laboratory experimentation has demonstrated that PEFT may well become a new tool in the arsenal of weapons utilized in fighting this dreaded disease. In some ways, it may become the most important tool of the 21st century in helping to fight cancer. Novobiotronics was the first company to obtain hard scientific data in a 21st Century major cancer research laboratory, that PEFT may open new doors in the treatment of cancer.


Of course this is something a kin to the Royal Rife machine, that OF COURSE is illegal.

Royal Raymond Rife (May 16, 1888 – August 5, 1971) was an American inventor and early exponent of high-magnification time-lapse cine-micrography.[1][2] In the 1930s, he claimed that by using a specially designed optical microscope, he could observe microbes which were too small to visualize with previously existing technology.[3] Rife also reported that a ‘beam ray’ device of his invention could weaken or destroy the pathogens by energetically exciting destructive resonances in their constituent chemicals.[4] Rife’s claims could not be independently replicated,[5] and were discredited by independent researchers during the 1950s. Rife blamed the scientific rejection of his claims on a conspiracy involving the American Medical Association (AMA), the Department of Public Health, and other elements of “organized medicine”, which had “brainwashed and intimidated” his colleagues.[6]

Interest in Rife’s claims was revived in some alternative medical circles by the 1987 book The Cancer Cure That Worked, which claimed that Rife had succeeded in curing cancer, but that his work was suppressed by a powerful conspiracy headed by the AMA.[5] After this book’s publication, a variety of devices bearing Rife’s name were marketed as cures for diverse diseases such as cancer and AIDS. An analysis by Electronics Australia found that a typical ‘Rife device’ consisted of a nine-volt battery, wiring, a switch, a timer and two short lengths of copper tubing, which delivered an “almost undetectable” current unlikely to penetrate the skin.[7] Several marketers of other ‘Rife devices’ have been convicted for health fraud, and in some cases cancer patients who used these devices as a replacement for medical therapy have died.[8] Rife devices are currently classified as a subset of radionics devices, which are generally viewed as pseudomedicine by mainstream experts

From <>


What we had left to us, was, diet change and nutrients and CBD oil that was at the time she needed it VERY Illegal in the state of Indiana – but which I got anyway (!) and radiation treatments. She changed her diet to a keto diet, because all the research we could find said that sugar feeds cancer cells because they have damaged mitochondria and lack the ability to create energy from aerobic respiration. They cannot metabolize fatty acids for energy. For this reason, cancer cells thrive in oxygen-depleted environments. Instead, cancer cells metabolize glucose and amino acids.

Keto diet

The increased metabolic efficiency of the ketogenic diet can also help to heal cancer, according to a growing number of studies. Since cancer cells feed on glucose and they cannot feed on ketones, you are in essence, starving the cancer.


Otto Warburg was a leading cell biologist who led to the discovery that cancer cells are unable to flourish using energy produced from cellular respiration, but instead from glucose fermentation. Dr. Thomas Seyfried and other cancer researchers agree, and have further discovered that cancer cells are also fueled from the fermentation of the amino acid glutamine.

With ketogenic diets, lowering carbohydrates will reduce your levels of glucose, the fuel that feeds cancer cells. This will put your body into ketosis and will assist in depleting cancer cells of their energy supply.

From <>


When you combine what the cancer was doing to her, with GMO foods – which she tried very hard to avoid as she was one of the original health nuts back in the sixties – plus the chemtrails and the effect on the immune system plus a few emotional issues that she just could not work through, it killed her.


Your Biography Becomes Your Biology

Emotional energy contributes to the formation of cell tissue, and forms an energy language which carries literal and symbolic information. In this way, your biography–that is, the experiences that make up your life–becomes your biology. Your body contains your history–every chapter, line and verse of every event and relationship in your life. As your life unfolds your biological health becomes a living, breathing biographical statement that conveys your strengths, weaknesses, hopes and fears.

Every thought you have travels through your biological system and activates a physiological response. Some thoughts–like fear–are like depth charges, causing a reaction throughout your body; a loving thought can relax your entire body. Some thoughts are more subtle, and still others are unconscious. Many are meaningless and pass through the body like wind through a screen.

Within your energy field exists emotional energy, which is created by your internal and external experiences. These experiences can be both positive and negative, fleeting or long-lasting:

*Past and present relationships

*Profound or traumatic experiences and memories

*Belief patterns and attitudes, including all spiritual and superstitious beliefs

From <>


This comes from Carolyn Myss’s early work. Her most meaningful quote to me has always been (paraphrased here);

“If you refuse to deal with your emotional wounds, your Biography WILL become your Biology”.

We worked hard on the emotional side of things. She was fearless in encountering the issues, but could not get over the heart break.

She wouldn’t even consider chemo. Period. Immovable rock. The doctors agreed with her and they outlined the ONLY treatment plan they had for her, that was to chase the cancer around her body with radiation and irradiate only the areas that would extend her life. For instance, at one point the cancer wound around her throat. She was having great difficulty breathing. So they hit that particular spot with radiation. Every time she had a series of treatments it took longer for her to recover from the radiation sickness – yes, you do get that. She just became weaker and weaker until one day she looked at me and said “I can’t do one more treatment.” At this point all the oncologist could offer was palliative care and hospice.

Did you know that from that point on she got every medication – morphine, tramadol anti-anxiety medication for the confusion the morphine created, a hospital bed, a wheel chair, a shower seat, a walker – all on the government? It felt like they were giving me everything I needed to end her life. But god-forbid they let go of some of the bio-tech they have that could really do some good. Cutting edge is not for the regular folks anymore, not even for the wealthy. There is a whole new standard of who gets what’s out there and we little folk are just supposed to die. As a matter of fact they make it almost painless to help them die. And of course, they would much rather have you do that in the privacy of your own home where no questions can be asked. So, I became the hand of the murder. I cared for her in her home for the last month of her life, lived with her moment to moment through her pain and confusion. I administered her pain meds and her anxiety meds and watched her slip further and further away.

I helped murder my mom.

I have been so angry about this, so pissed off at the state of affairs in the world that it has taken some time to even organize my thoughts so I could write. You see, I know in my heart-of-hearts what Corey Good, David Wilcock and Emery Smith are saying is true. I feel it. The technology exists to have avoided her death in this manner. I understand that we the peanut gallery are less than ants to the controllers and this one death means less than a sneeze to the likes of them. I know and feel the fight going on, on this earth at this time for all humanity.

But in my small world, instead of seeing her die, helping her die the way she did, I would have much rather she had died in her sleep, in peace, slipping away one day when the world was just right, into the arms of the angels who were waiting for her.

It doesn’t matter what anyone says, my ethics, my sense of rightness says I helped to murder her. I was forced into collusion with a system that is rotten to the core with absolutely no other options.

Do you know how much that sucks? How angry I am at losing her that way? Its time, really time for this to change.






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