more weird Grandma stuff….

How would it change your life if you had contact very early in life, instead of as an adult? What if, what you grew up with started as young as 5 or 6 years old? What if you carried a paradigm around in your head about life, that gradually unrolled in your sense of ‘the way it is’ as you grew and learned about the world, and what if there was always a companion in your head that willingly answered questions and led you to information all of your life?

Not that my life wasn’t interfered with a lot – but not by those that were with me like a gentle parent, they saved my life many times over, with direct intervention, warnings and yet let me learn the character refining and building lessons I needed along the way. Every unanswerable question I have asked has been answered.

I pondered a lot as a kid, I was very curious about ‘out there’ because I wanted to meet these people who had talked to me and gently taught me all my life. It led me down many paths to investigate various teachings that might help me grow a better mind and consciousness. But my life, those lessons, interfered. So I did what I could, when I could. However, never at any time have those that gave me my first download as a kid left me, they are always there in the back of my mind. And never once has the tenor – the overall feeling of that communication ceased to have meaning for me.

I will say that in retrospect and quite confusingly, I have had contact on many levels with different groups. Some terrified me, and I met those before I met the people I love. I had lessons to learn from them. Some interfered with my memories which I find to this day quite aggravating because there are whole sections through my 60 + years that are not available to me that people and family have recounted to me. So, I recognize the validity of things for my life when my heart ‘knows’ a thing that I cannot remember. It feels like it is bursting with joy or sinking in fear, a reaction way over what as an adult should be in proportion to the information I am hearing or experiencing. My heart remembers for me what my mind cannot. This is not imagination – or maybe it is when you consider your imagination is the untethered, unjudged spiritual perceptive part of yourself meant to be the doorway to other realities and realms, instead of just a child’s toy.

For instance: I have been good friends with an intelligent ship – I so miss this being (they are more than just a pet, some are so old and so sentient they are vast, huge personages). I have walked among many intelligent races – I remember this with my heart. Real Telepathy (vs. synthetic) is very real and has many aspects to it and all are so beautiful – to me.

Earth telepathy vs visitor telepathy. Our first symbolic attunement to communication is thru language. That’s why earth telepathy mostly comes in heard words and branches out into images and emotional contexts. Once I was at a health expo in Chicago where a group of Tibetan monks were building a huge beautiful sand mandala and I was just watching them for a minute before exiting the place to go home. It occurred to me while watching that in reality, these mandalas when finished carried an energy signature that extended beyond the flat 2D realm, that they had 3D-4D energy to them. I could just catch what it looked like in my mind’ eye. The idea really excited me! Wow!! So, to see if I was right, I tried to ask one of the gentlemen not dressed like a monk, but who was obviously with them. There were many monks there besides the ones working on the mandala. A couple were leaning on the posts sitting on the floor obviously taking a break, some were visiting with the people watching. As I tried to ask the question to this man, who couldn’t understand me, a voice in my head said “Of course it is three dimensional!” To wit, I said back mentally “Shush, I am trying to ask a question here!” The man just refused understand me and I looked away and noticed one of the monks who was resting against a post was silently laughing. At the time I thought he was laughing at me for trying to ask a stupid question and being thoroughly frustrated because no one would answer me. It wasn’t until I was in my car driving home that I realized what actually happened. That reclining monk had answered me, telepathically and thought it was funny when I told him to be quiet.

Visitor telepathy begins exactly the opposite? You will not so much get an answer in loud words/text, as you will get a whole feeling. That feeling will contain word meanings, but not spoken word. It will have emotions and empathy, and most of all pictures in your head that may be fleeting and fast, but just there on the edge of your awareness. – excerpt from 2014 journal

I have lived in Egypt. I have lived in Japan. I died in deep dark water. I died in an airplane crash ( I suppose that is why I hate air turbulence so much that I will not fly except under duress). I died in the desert (not fun). I lived in Elizabethan times. I have been variously a monk, a nun and lived many times in monasteries. And yet, this time I have had many lessons to complete to teach myself about compassion and facing my fears.

So what is it like to grow up without the culture shock of knowing there are others to get to know? That first contact radically woke me up and changed my world view at 5 years old and I suppose my world view wasn’t big enough to rattle my cage yet, so it simply woke me up. There were people out there and they were nice. It was hard, because nobody even knew and at that age I didn’t have the words to explain, and as kids do, I just accepted it. Also because at that age I was already sensitized to rotten behavior from everybody, I suppose I expected/wanted a certain level of honesty and empathy from people because you couldn’t imagine treating another differently than you would yourself . Why? Because you have enough awareness to directly experience what your interaction with another person feels like, so, 90 percent of what goes on out in the world mystifies you because everybody is so mean – and you think it’s all intentional. That is until you realize that nobody sees the world the way you do. Then it all makes sense.

The other thing that happens is when you go to school, or go to various spiritual, mystery school places to see if they have anything that could help your intense drive to have a mind fit enough for more contact (when all the while you were having contact… I mentioned I was slow, right?), you realize that the absolute worst thing you can do is get caught in any organizational paradigm, so you end up becoming a wanderer.

It wasn’t that I needed to wake this up in me, or train it, I wanted explanations and everybody had their own little boxes they wanted to put you in. IE: it was about control and I stayed as far away from that as I could. Adult life had made sure that there was never enough money or opportunity to really go to school for more than a couple of years at a time, so I collected a smattering of education on a number of topics never getting that prized piece of paper that said to society I had the requisite training to do anything. So, I ruminated – a lot. All the time. In my twenties I started to journal, simply to keep a record of the two realities that I lived in and how they might be tandem, layered, simultaneous. At the time, it also helped to deepen my empathy, loving understanding, and compassion – I needed lessons in this. Journaling also became my primary mode of contact.

The other thing you carry with you is that life, other than our so tiny, little definition of it, is teeming everywhere! This means you think hard about intelligences and how they might communicate, and you realize that all that you perceive goes through a filter called ‘this is what is supposed to be’ and that this filter actually limits what you are willing to perceive. Everything is communicating all the time in its own way, the trick is understand that. The mistake is to wait for an ‘alien’ to talk to you or visit you in the 3D flesh, nuts and bolts type of experience we have been told is the only valid way for this to occur! I should have realized this in a more cognizant way many years earlier, but I’m (…wait for it) slow.

So in retrospect – hindsight is 20/20 (mental laughter here) – IMO: I have never not been in contact, and I am just a regular old grandma with some strange ideas and a ton of opinions. That’s what I have, opinions, not an academic education, just opinions. I can say some things from experience – from the shear length of my life time, but still, it’s always in-my-opinion, for all I have to offer is my experience and my efforts to see it from another lens, through another filter, to explore how it could be different, and yet the same.

Stay weird my friends….

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