My very Beast

If we are caught in 20 year repeating cycles, then it behooves us to see our own behaviour as a road map and to decide at which point to deviate the story to create it differently – either that or jump sideways into a different timeline. However, to do that without examination of your own inner self, would be to take what killed the previous timeline and sunk it into despair with you, only to repeat, wash and rinse until you got it right. IE: there can be no unconsciousness of self.

Maybe the only way we can begin to even understand why we are destined to repeat all our cycles from 20 year loops to life times is to take them apart and look at them for unconscious actions that ping the karmic web and set it vibrating such that you get caught and repeat endlessly until you understand why, until you examine your motives, your triggers and begin to learn to control them enough not to react and set that web into motion. Kind of like the great Buddhist middle way?

Just as it is said, ‘Those that do not know history are doomed to repeat it.’ so must we look, examine our own hearts with enough courage to see our truth, even if we don’t like what we see, to finally change it.

Last night at dusk there was a beautiful sunset. I wasn’t out in it, I was in bed when I noticed. And I didn’t just see it through the window from a dark room, I saw it in a mirror in a dark room – through a mirror darkly – and not just that, out a window in my own dark cage – box – reality.

Through a mirror darkly: I didn’t know it was a thing, but something stirred me to google it.

1 Cor 13:12

‘For now we see in a mirror darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

Hunting further I found Plato said it too.

Loeb translation

‘He who studies realities by means of conceptions is looking at them in ‘images’.

Jowett Trans

‘He who contemplates existence through the medium of ideas, sees them only through a glass darkly.”

To me this means that you must excavate your heart, question your soul with whys, be scrupulously honest in your observations, and be willing to allow for the different and the fabulous, the phenomenal. Until you can do so, you will only see the world through the looking glass at dusk.

Over the years I have had countless times that upon awakening, and other quiet times during the day where I have had this notion of myself lying in bed in a deep coma in some other reality and this that I do here and now is only a dream. But the dream must be a lesson because I keep repeating it, as if it is the same understanding barrier I have with algebra, and every time I finish the equation with an answer, it is different. As if time laughs at me to say there is no Right answer. ‘Right’ is a cage. ?

The sky is my personal symbol of freedom. Not only was I looking at it in a mirror – reversed left and right – but the window had open shades on it that looked like prison bars. As if to say the only way out was in. Maybe the dusk was the dawn and the north was the south, through that mirror. Maybe this world is a reflection of reality and all in it?

Or maybe I’m just trying to find a way out of really looking at my inner beast and loving it in this season of deep inner work we all find ourselves in? Well, I will have to give it my very beast effort… 🙂

A special kind of tipping point, or a massacree…

If you are from a fantasy world where the best opportunity is chosen for the planet and not just some of the people, this Area 51 ‘party’ could become a special kind of tipping point for a whole new paradigm in the UFO field.

It’s really hard to change the minds of a million people especially when they all have a bee up their bonnet. It helps to gently redirect a hoard of people when they are already in motion. Right now the opportunity exists to do that energetically on social media and other media outlets before physical action towards the destination has occurred.

To be very simple about this, IF nothing is done and people end up at the destination THEN there will 2 options, a positive outcome or a negative outcome.

We have all speculated about the negative outcome, social media has been peppered with all sorts of crasicity, ignorance and usual low vibe junk. What about planning for a positive contingency instead? I know a wrote a tongue in cheeky article yesterday about this, but in reality I was serious.

IMO I don’t see any way to prevent people from showing up especially because there are some out there that would just love to turn this into a gov’t against the people massacree and will show up just to help that along. HOWEVER, if we could just analyze HOW MUCH MONEY IS MADE AT THE LARGE UFO CONVENTIONS, hire some really savvy people from Vegas to get this together in a month or so, you could create one of the biggest mass turn arounds in positive feeling for the gov’t private tech and research sector ever, re-instilling a great deal of trust back into the people for the entire situation. In fact, TTSA should have thought of this.

Talk about money makers and missed opportunities. Ahem.

  1. this would put a severe limit on any kind of shenanigans that some thought they would get away with.
  2. it would create (dare I say it) unity in the community
  3. ramp up respect in the mass culture for the dollars spent and research done
  4. be one of the biggest air shows in history (without compromising the hidden stuff)
  5. be that opportunity to introduce to the public some technology they couldn’t figure out how to show before
  6. it could ALL occur OUTSIDE the gates.
  7. it might cost a bit of money – so charge admission
  8. the grass roots folksy approach would go a million miles towards softening opinions towards the current mess
  9. it might help the idiots in control see that people are willing to help out with their money if we could see some cool tech. I’d pay. (bucket list)
  10. it’s just a better way to do it. Go with the flow. Utilize the gathering to create the …’spin’… you’ve always wanted on the subject.

Hell, can’t you see a great opportunity when its staring you in the face?


Or, it could go a lot like this:


The ‘Area 51’ Social Experiment … party

What does social experiment mean?

A social experiment is a type of research done in fields like psychology or sociology to see how people behave in certain situations or how they respond to particular policies or programs. Informal, personal, and humorous experimentation, such as pranks, is sometimes also referred to as a social experiment.   From <>

By now, to most of us (I would hope) it is obvious that the Face Book hoax to storm Area 51 was a very sneaky way to take the temperature of the peanut gallery on whether people wanted some real information about aliens. I would say that the answer to that question is an overwhelming, big, fat;


While there is no accounting for how people would really act if they were face to face with any being that is different from them and right now this is a game with no consequences, this tells some people that a huge part of the population wants to know. Couple of questions here, though;

  1. what if they find that ‘aliens’ – people who look just like us are all over the place on a daily basis, living amongst us? We are still dealing with our racial bias to the rest of the people who live here that we do know about…ahem
  2. what if the ‘aliens’ (gasp) look different, (sigh) really different? Will we end up having to deal with the cat calls of demons and such?
  3. what if they have special powers and everybody wants their own personal ‘alien’ to solve all their problems? Or fix the earth etc..?
  4. what if they are not physical but energy and we can’t see them and nobody believed the truth when they were told it?
  • for that matter –
  1. there is the point that we have been so lied to that they could parade anything out in front of us and we wouldn’t believe it??? Hmmmm?

The possibilities are endless.

But we sure want to know – or think we do. That much is a very obvious result of the experiment. What a sneaky way to take a national pole on this.

Stepping back a few feet – with the current national spin on UFO’s in the media, and the advent of TTSA and the Wilson Docs, the only thing that we are currently choking on IS the alien question. Not that we have stuff we’ve all paid for with our tax dollars that is flying around in the sky that we know nothing about officially (yeah, we expect our gov’t to be innovative and all) but we are having problems with real beings. Maybe beings that were copied from pictures that were made of foam and then shot on film and pretended that it was real – but presented with the slightest possibility that there are real beings, we find it hard to swallow – not how they were treated – but that they exist at all. Which I find curious in light of the Area 51 experiment. We, the people who supposedly have a bit more information are the ones choking on this. Now, I understand that’s primarily an effect of point number 5 above, but really, how many of us are secretly signed up to the ‘Storm Area 51 Event’?

Funny though, now that they have their results they also have a whole bunch of people who will probably show up – and they better get ready to throw a Great Big Area 51 Party. Real. Party. Charge admission, supply food, facilities (porta potties, water), have some camo guys do a couple of talks on various topics, mingle and make folks welcome. I even blogged about this already:

Media-touristy Circus

I got a kick out of Jimmy’s opening thoughts on Fade to Black last night. So the guberment is closed. Notice how everything is still running, people are still working, there are no riots in the streets and no mass-idiocy going on.

So, since the same thing happened Dec.17th 2017 when they announced the flying ships on radar were not ours and they tried to make a media circus of that, I propose they pay for the shut down by opening up a section of Area 51 as a tourist destination.

Just think of it! We will not freak-out about seeing the aliens, we would want our picture taken standing next to one. Then we’d want the t-shirt and hat to go with it, maybe a jacket too. We’d have to get the kids something so we’d purchase the alien replica with led eyes that cycle through the rainbow – the perfect night light for all ages and maybe that remote control UFO for under the tree next Christmas. And who wouldn’t want the walking talking fuzzy logic AI reptilian mini-robot too, to say nothing of stopping at the cafeteria for some real honest to goodness replicated food – just like on Star Trek (“Earl Grey hot!”)

We might even decide to spend the extra money on the super-duper Bob Lazar tour where his history is told while you walk through a lovely exhibit that uses holograms like Star Wars (“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi!”) and at the end you get your picture taken with the Sport Model ship.

There could be a 3D theater where you get to see and feel what it is like to ride in a saucer and maybe for the really well off – an actual ride!

Just think of all the marketing ideas that could come out of it… Aaaaaand nobody would freak – not a single person, and they’d have the top tourist destination in the world, for a while that is, until Trump opens his new Trump Tower hotel on the moon (a 1000 stories high).


So, now it’s in their lap. I wonder what they will do?


As to that other time…

This really does have to do with 5G and its effect, this other time. To feel the difference in 4G-5G coverage in your body, on your intuitive natural self/side, you have to be moving around. So for me, it occurs most often in the car. As you are driving you will invariably hit areas that have poor coverage, when if you are using your GPS on your phone you lose it for a mile or so. There are pockets of poor coverage that, if you pay attention, ‘feel’ different. There is one of those places for about a mile on a street I take regularly, because I like it, and I probably like it because there is no coverage – it feels good. Then when you turn a corner you run smack into a pocket of 5G, in fact, the two areas usually overlap a bit.

When the 5G isn’t working well like the other day when it was very foggy and early in the morning which negated the 5G and I hit that dead zone for 4G, it’s like I was smacked in the face with the immense power of something else. Nature. The huge, deep power of the ground, the old trees in the area, the fields of grass, they were all present and singing loudly. I was grabbed, shaken, in recognition of a thing I had forgotten. I felt, ‘There you are –  it has been such a long time since I have felt this.” It. Was. So. Immense. Powerful. Old. Beautiful. As if the earth was yelling for my attention in those seconds of covering that ground in my moving car. It was out of the ordinary, and it was powerful, powerful enough that I haven’t forgotten and powerful enough that I told my husband, who just gave me one of those ‘yeah, yeah, right’ looks.

So here is my theory. I have wondered and worried that because I was too lazy in my practice that I had lost touch with the feel of the earth – something I grew up with and always had thought was normal but since about mid-1990’s seemed to become more difficult. Then when I moved from the Chicago burbs to Indiana burbs you’d think tooling along down the back roads of Indiana across corn fields, that you would feel closer to nature – I mean, there’s nothing out there right? Wrong. It was worse than ever. (but I had great cell phone reception)

Imo, Elana Freeland has the right of it. She mentions that there is an overlap between 4G and 5G which would make sense when talking about the electromagnetic spectrum they both run on. (we give different frequency bands different names like they aren’t part of the same thing and its confusing – imo, on purpose) If she is right, we have been very slowly entrained into ‘not noticing’ the 4G field so that we could be very carefully led directly into the 5G without shock and noticing the ‘numbness’ that it can cause. I’m wondering just how much of the natural and non-natural phenomena it masks? Except when you drive straight into a created town-wide frequency shell that is so weird you can’t help but notice….(?)

Steve Mera has done extensive research on this whole ‘phenomena’ ball of wax centering on magnetic anomalies and gravity measurements as they relate to frequency, which is, of course: what does the electromagnetic spectrum show us in the vicinity of such phenomena, and what is the mineral content in the ground (thereby the resonant frequency of the ground) and how do the various conditions interact to attract or create the phenomena. What is interesting is that he has found that if you are dealing with person centered phenomena, like apports or materialization you have a six week window where residual changes in the environment exist and in the case of the objects, the effect follows the object and eventually wears off, but during that 6 weeks, the objects are like a magnet for more phenomena. I have noticed the increased proclivity towards weirdness in my house after cases of missing items, but I grew up that way, so it’s not disruptive. But this driving into very strong weirdness has my curiosity peaked.

This sent me looking for magnetic maps of my area… I could only find the USA map, however its really zoomable. Steve has a theory that phenomena can appear in a spherical form, and that that form creates a temporary gravity well which is measurable for about 24-72 hours in the environment. What is even more interesting is that the boundary areas of the highs and lows in the magnetics map are the most active in producing ripples in the field, the same as the boundary areas in the weather air pressure maps. The high pressure is heat or stability, and the low pressure is humidity and cooler air. Its where they meet that we get our supercell spin ups and tornadoes because they spin in opposite directions and where they meet there is mayhem. Same for the magnetics, negatives and positives spin in opposite directions ( now what was is it I read about two counter rotating magnetic fields and anti gravity propulsion.…hum?)

That said, I wonder if there are not free-ranging roving magnetic anomalies (tornadoes) that we are totally unaware of that we are constantly moving in and out of, especially along the high-low magnetic boundary areas??? Now, because 4-5G are waves in a part of the same spectrum, I wonder how they react to our micro magnetic environment??? Or are they specifically set up to control the immediate environment and the people in it?

All I know is that if my mind is semi occupied – as in driving, and my intuition is in the on position (expectancy, b/c well, driving) then those are the times when I notice the weirdest…stuff. I’m not looking for it, I’m not expecting it, it just kinda whacks up against my face like a wet towel in a whirlwind and I’m caught in the noticing of it. I’m finding that driving in and out of populated areas is where I find the greatest differences. Whether the population density confusion is 5G or just that lots of humans all stuck together in one place is confusing anyway? Who knows.

Sometimes the only way to study something is to compare it to something else and see if the analogy carries through.

odd little story

So here is an odd little story that happened yesterday. There is a town next to mine called Carmel. For about 10 years they have been erasing all of the quaint, charming little-town feel by taking out all but a few stop lights and all stop signs and replacing them with roundabouts, new, tall buildings, innovative little bistros and trendy shops. In one respect it has made the traffic flow at rush hour through the town much easier. Just last year I finally understood something about the energy in the landscape and roads. Roads become like arteries for energy both of the physical kind and the energetic kind. Think about it, your mind travels down the road ahead of you as you drive with everybody else creating an energy river. When you reach a light you generally turn your attention elsewhere whether its staring at the people around you or your phone. Well with roundabouts, you simply pause, you never really stop. Traffic really does flow better and faster.

These roundabouts do something else, and it finally splashed all over my brain the other day, they create energy vortices in the landscape! D’oh… never said I was either smart or fast. Anyway, this town is completely infested with these roundabouts. I haven’t gotten a map out yet to give it an in-depth analysis because they don’t show roundabouts on the maps, but that’s next on the list. The reason I bring this up is because of the weird, odd, funny adventure I had taking my car to get my brakes done yesterday morning. Indiana has adopted Chicago’s philosophy of: there only being two seasons, winter and construction and it is quite hard to get there from here in the summer. I wound up driving down a north of the town street, just to get into the town and this is a small town. It’s a street I hadn’t been on in some time, as I made a right turn off the roundabout on to the street, I felt like I drove into a discrete energy change – like the air itself should have turned color, or like a sun shade line, I felt the physical impact of it. And then I didn’t recognize the street, but I should have known the street, I knew I was going the right way, but I felt like I drove into unexplored territory like the vast forest Lothlórien where the elves from Lord of the Rings live. It was seriously strange and seriously beautiful.

I just kept driving because I knew ‘where’ I was going in a kind of exterior logical, this street goes to here format. I pulled into the service place got my brakes fixed, the oil changed and a turn signal bulb replaced. My son, a master mechanic works there and I always get him a Star Bucks as a thank you for squeezing me in. This time it was such an involved order I had to make a note of it in my phone! Lol.

Well, they had moved the Star Bucks store, I got lost and twisted up in all the roundabouts, double roundabouts and spaghetti bowl turns and twists and had to drive back to the shop and get directions. So I finally get to the Star Bucks, park and walk in. The atmosphere struck me as odd, but nice. The place had really high ceilings and lent itself to a tall atrium feel. However, the guy taking the orders had problems hearing me, it seemed like, and he was somewhat disconnected, he repeated it back three times to me, each time, unsure. I chalked that up to maybe it was too echo-y in there for his hearing… then I walk around to wait for my order and watch the people picking up their orders. The general mental consensus in the place was like: who could properly out-spiritual the other – like it was the new, cool way to be. It was obvious to me that it was the next thing to be, like hippies back in the day, or ravers, or skaters… and as my step daughter is fond of saying, they were all ‘posers’. I was amused, and horrified. All I could equate it to would be walking into a fake storefront like I was caught in the movie MIB. I got my stuff, and drove back to the shop trying to shake the oddness of the whole trip. My son was really grateful and I pulled out to go home, wondering if the trip back was gonna be as strange. Funny, I’m not actually sure of the route I took, but it was even further north of the town of Carmel because I took a wrong turn.

Really, I never get lost, and I never not know where I am in relation to the landscape and the places I go. Except… around odd magnetic anomalies where rivers and railroad tracks come together, or in the magnetic vortices out west and a couple that are in the Smokies in or around Alabama. When I drive into one of those fields its very disconcerting because the magnetics say one thing and the ground another thing. I get disoriented, every time. The feeling of driving into the energy field that now exists around Carmel was more like driving through a barrier into a different reality, it was not harsh, but it was strong. Instead of making me confused, I felt like I was in an entirely different world. It was the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. The ‘alien’ or fake feel of the people in Star Bucks was weird, and odd, and by the time I drove out of Carmel I was utterly discombobulated. When I drove through the energy change north of the city, it was back to normal and the energy had an edgy sharpness to it, which since I have thought about it, is the norm.

So, did all the roundabouts create a bubble of different energy over this town, or is it some sort of 5G effect, or did I drive into a random moving energetic phenomena, because I’ve never felt that before except one other time…..

Of Dangling Wormies…

Fish have souls, we use wormies to catch them. If fish have souls, so do worms. Not only do we ‘sew’ these worms through hooks that go through their bodies – several times (that has to hurt) but then we catch wonderful tasting fish to eat – or to catch and throw back… (remind you of some types of abductions?) what does that make us? Meanies??? Fishing is fun. I love to fish, especially if I am drinking… sigh. It must make me really horrible. (thank you Jimmy Church for putting this idea in my brain – NOT!)

Which brings me to the latest ‘thought’ I’ve had about all the recent ‘disclosure’ falderal. Its wormies. Simple. Lest we forget: Dr. Steven Greer on C2C as Shared on FB by Michael Hall said, ‘TTSA is the public face of a much larger group’ and Melinda Leslie has researched for 25 years and has the morphology of this group for the last 70 years. Somebody else has decided the TTSA is decidedly SLOW in their outlay of information, and interfered with that ‘slow’, with the documents that have sprung out as of late. (oh, byw – there is also a myth that they had a definitive time to out with all this info and they didn’t believe it so now they are playing catch up. oh gee…)

HOWEVER (!!!) go back to what Dr. Steven Greer said – that this just one iteration of what is going in countless corporate projects because there are as many hidden groups as there are there are stars in the sky. Lest we forget Ben ‘Rich’s wonder statement “We have the technology to send ET home – it was just a small glitch in the equations…” 1995 (paraphrased – btw this reference has almost been cleaned off the web! When I go through my Xfinity it says site can’t be reached. when I go through sprint, ‘Above top Secret’ site will come up. In wiki they have totally chopped up the original post and put statements in as to the unreliability of a misquoted statement… SHEESH!)

THESE RECENT DOCUMENTS ARE ONLY ONE TEESNY TINY LITTLE BIT OF PROOF. Yes, they are proof. Now go through all that you have heard, read, and researched. Put it all together. These documents are not the whole picture and we have to quit acting ‘as-if’ they are! The Carol Rosin Statement still resonates as truth for me.

We have gotten completely wound up in nonsense to keep us from putting it all together. They dangled a wormie and we bit. ARRRRGH! We have to get over this and get smart.

One thing though – if that’s true – the odds are that the rest of the enduring ‘myths’ are true too.

Since Friday in my dreams, I have visited three major world views on this question in my dreams. This morning I was asked which one I would choose. I lingered in the in-between state between dreaming and having a loud cat demanding I feed him (waking state) to muse that, it would be none of them. Why? Because none of them had dogs. Any place I would go or choose or pick in any scenario or dream for the future would have to have dogs. I simply couldn’t go without dogs. And earth has dogs.

End of story.

Ps. I love to fish, maybe that means I’m not ready to ascend – but at least I will have dogs.