To Be Enough…

I dreamt there was a way into another world that has been secret forever – but right in front of our faces, a wonderful place. Hidden, but not, a sanctuary that you have to be something-enough to discover. The ‘something enough’ was important because without it, what is right in front of your face cannot be seen.

It is not hidden, this place, and it is for each person to find it. I came out of the dream feeling like I was being reminded of something I should have already known. It is now for me to solve the puzzle, to ‘be enough’ to figure it out, to ‘see’ it – now that I remember it is there. Kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. “There’s no place like home…There’s…”

So, I think this place is a sanctuary of the heart, a frequency, a feeling that once felt can never be lost. I have found in my 65 plus (more than half way to 70 )years old life that the world will try to rob you of this, it will try to make you forget, it will ‘drudgery’ you out of it, it will break your heart over and over – but if you can just remember the feeling, you can find your way home, to sanctuary.

I have always wondered why more people didn’t know this. I have been angry about it not being taught. I was lucky. I had a parent who knew this and I had ‘friends’ who knew this. I was given sanctuary at a young age and I really needed it. I would have willfully ended my very young life had there not been intervention. This intervention came from not-human-beings. That’s the only term I have for it. Because one night laying in my top bunk bed with my sister asleep under me in her bed, with an extremely anguished heart I asked whoever was out there if everybody everywhere (and I meant in the universe because I already had a sense there were others out there) was mean. And I received an answer directly. The answer was – no, not everybody ‘everywhere’ was like what I experienced on the earth. The feelings of understanding and agape love that went with this answer were my first taste of sanctuary. It never occurred to me that from that time onward sanctuary was mine, just that somewhere out there it existed and in my young mind all I wanted to do was to go there. This began a life long relationship with these beings, that me being the idiot I am, didn’t realize what it was. This is the programming of this world, and lets just chalk it up to my naivety.

And as life goes, normal on this planet is the opposite. To the point where sanctuary is forgotten, where you just need to get through the next day. And I didn’t know I was enough… I spent over half my life exploring everything I could to figure out how to become ‘good enough’ to be offered this sanctuary, never realizing that it had been given to me way back in my childhood, because the litany in my childhood was I was never good enough so it followed that I would have to work very hard to become maybe good enough to be able to be in the company of those people who gave me sanctuary many years ago… and I waited for the day when I would be told I was good enough, never realizing that I had been in their company and speaking with them and to them and feeling them in my life ever since that moment, that it was about the feeling in my heart, not about judgment and weights and measures. Its about true love, and my ability to accept that feeling.

What is enough?

Enough, sufficient: Beside, near, by, with, to reach, to attain

Sanskrit: asnotti  to reach

Hittite: ninikzi  lifts – raises

Latin:  nancisci  to obtain

To make equal with, level with

Moderately, tolerably, sufficient for the purpose…’you’ll do’

‘Beside’ being the most important word here, not as good as, not the same, just beside, because I didn’t understand that I already carried sanctuary in my heart and there was no good-enough or achievement, it was already given – I just needed to realize it. But I was still waiting to ‘graduate’….

Ever since I was young and I found out about spiritual principles not tied to dogma and church or religion, I have been angry that it is not taught, or simply just a part of life. I thought these were the actual steps to knowledge/feelings that could have helped humanity evolve and progress.  I lost a teacher over that rant. These principles are embedded in quantum theory, telepathy, frequency and dimensionality and are a gateway to other worlds and peoples and our own development as souls. It seemed to me that every place I looked this information is always treated as ‘Secret’ as if being a better person was not allowed or sacrosanct. I was frustrated because the world could have been a better place already, instead it just sucked because everybody who knew, kept this secret, or so it seemed.

It’s said that becoming a better person is up to the person themselves and must be discovered as an inner process, meaning it cannot be taught. But it is taught, by those around you and the way they treat you especially, when you are young. It is transmitted person to person and soul to soul. It has to be understood as a ‘ground feeling of being’. But once you have felt it, received it from another it is resident within you, at any age. These beings offered it freely and then offered of themselves. I have met very few people with that same heart song in my life. But, I have met them.

Back to sanctuary. With the above in mind, to me it seems that the ‘enough’ part has to do with emotions and heart, something we have been trained to see as useless block to getting ahead in a rational world. And maybe the door or curtain, or veil you walk through, is a frequency of feeling – which is why sanctuary is a protected place, because those who do not know it are blind, they must learn it through feeling it, take it in to lift that boundary to see it. And there is a faction here, today, on this earth who are incapable of ever knowing this feeling… but this sense, this sanctuary is what will save this earth in the end, I think, if we can only share it every day and every moment as a standard from our inmost selves, wisely and unwavering, gently and strongly, with the entire presence of sanctuary beside us.

So maybe it is a moral dilemma, because to just say this will not move anyone to find this feeling, it needs to be transmitted person to person and not everyone can feel it, or learn it, or believe they have the capability. However, as I understand it, it is the imperative of every soul on this planet to find it…

Or not. This a free will planet… That is the moral dilemma.