Crazy

2:27 am

My mind – what is real? Deeply real? I keep looking for the crack in the ceiling to squeeze through… I feel crazy, but I wonder if everybody else does too.

Real world outside: full moon, clouds, crickets and frog song. Frogs are like the sleeping breath of the night, their song lulls the mind into peaceful slumber.

I don’t know what to think about the world. There is true insanity out there. It’s like a bad detective or forensics novel about a poisoner who gets away with it because nobody wants to see what is going on right under their noses. No one wants to look at the actual science, the actual facts of the behaviour of the poisoner. Kind of like the commercial about the kids who make all the wrong moves in a horror flick in thirty seconds.

I suppose because most of us can’t actually digest – fathom – understand the motives of those in power trying to kill us all. It’s a “Wait – what?” moment. If you put all the insanity together it’s in your face, kind of like not wanting to know your parents are serial killers. It’s just too heinous to consider, even when their behaviour is overt and obvious. We make their alibis for them. They politicize it making it an ideological mental issue which further hides the motive of murder and voila! It’s an unsortable mess.

In a land where freedom is important, you use freedom to usurp the people.

For some, freedom is too open, to boundaryless, and they look for any group, cause or ideology to hide within that will give them structure to feel safer. They do not actually want freedom, but it sounds good. ‘Bad’ people who know this, use it against them to gain control inch by inch, so it’s not noticed until it’s too late. Like the way you use a fish lure or any other device when hunting and capturing your prey. In this country the lure is ideas, the creative force of the mind. The whole reason America was created in the first place has been weaponized against us. It wouldn’t have been possible without the internet.

That is why I write in darkness, by candle light, so that no electronic vibe is present – so that the deeper liminal part of my mind can speak. The part that notices the eddies and currents, that feels the less obvious, so it can become obvious.

By what standard do I judge what I feel? I suppose it is my heart. Everybody knows deep down what is right and what is wrong. Or, they should… but if you are crazy, maybe you are crazy because you can’t feel that part of yourself anymore?

I suppose if: (and it’s a doozy) you were not a part of the original population of this planet and you wanted off, and it was centuries before you as a group could leave, your effort to remember who you are would mutate into hate for those with whom you were forced to live – turning them into the enemy. The real inhabitants, not being an old enough race, not developed enough would be seen useless to your goals, as over running the planet, using up the resources you needed to get off this rock and would I imagine that you would want to get rid of a lot of them (us). You would forever see them as inferior.

You’d use their best talents against them and they would never understand what hit them. You wouldn’t care because in your eyes it would be a life or death scenario. By the original population of the planet your behaviour would be seen as deviant, but you have had literally eons to learn how to hide who you really are, and you don’t give one whit about the people here, you just want off the planet.

As part of your survival, you had to interbreed with some of the population on the planet, and they now have a mind disease called psychopathy and narcissism. You have used, abused and killed many millions of the original population, feeling fully justified because they are so inferior and you are so far above them and have a mission to get off the planet. (and probably in our eyes descend like a plague of locusts ready to consume yet another world.)

It sounds like a wild sci-fi plot, but from what the eddies are bringing me, possibly true. ( and THAT is WHY  the world feels so crazy.)

To make matters worse for those that want off this rock, the window of time is closing on their efforts to the point where they are pulling out all the stops and do not care if they are discovered. They actually think that we will not get it…

In way it might be true because we can’t fathom the no-holds-barred attitude they have, so we are in real trouble. They will kills us in their attempt – use us anyway they can to accomplish their goal. In a way, it is sad because they have given us our systems, our structures, our beliefs which they now use against us and which we still cherish. It’s why we can’t duck the sucker punch coming at us – we don’t even see it coming.

So there it is – I wonder how it will play out?

Do we actually emerge from the grand sleep and open our eyes to the plot? Do we grow out of infancy, take response – ability for ourselves and the planet? Do we emerge from our cocoon of senselessness and into waking? We certainly have enough provocation at this point!!!

‘To die, to sleep – to sleep – perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.’

(Hamlet, Hamlet)

We must do this – we must wake, or we will perish. We must wake to gain our sovereignty, or it will not matter the creativity, the potential we have will turn to dust and be blown away. This is the temporal turning point for the race its self, and the planet demands it of us.

Now it is so in our faces, so fantastic that we can’t believe it, and their actions are so over the top that we can’t ignore them any more.

Some will try to ignore the situation, they will take the vaccines, they will wear the masks, they will willingly and subserviently kill themselves step by step in trade for the illusion of being parented. They will believe the lies about the science not done. They will not investigate, read, research one thing because they will have to face that the ‘parents’ are trying to kill them. The internal cognitive dissonance of the whole situation is what makes the world feel so ‘crazy’. It is sad when the only thing you can dream of to be better is what you don’t want, and you have no idea of what you do want…

I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go…