What have you learned?

I suppose one of the best defenses against life’s horrors, terrors and injustices for me has always been to see if I could answer the question: What have you learned? There are lots of times when the answer to that is so paltry as to be useless and others when it works. Either way life requires you to move along. To take the lesson in wisdom or woe. Your choice, entirely.

There are live events that are hard to wash away, even in the cacophonous noise of today’s life. The residue is so powerful that it stays there in back of everything haunting the present, its resonance adding a dissonance to your field. I suppose I could ignore it, essentially making myself blind to the effects, or, as I prefer, meet it head on with the deepest honesty I can muster. Metaphorically saying, “Bring it!”

I’ve had maybe 2 nightmares in my entire adult lifetime (I consider dreams as real experiences) that left such a strong emotional imprint on my soul that it colored my soul, my energy for months. One was when my life was in danger and last night’s dream mare was about extreme loss, the angst and incredulity of it all – so much so that in that dream I myself was even lost. I didn’t know where I was, I couldn’t find out. I had no home, no money, no phone, no car and no keys to either the car or the hotel I was stuck in. I didn’t even know which floor I was on or where the hotel was. Every memento and anchor to those I loved had been deliberately stripped from me, dear things, the kind of things you keep out of love for someone who has passed. Everything. It was all gone.

It was one of those dreams within a dream because I woke up in the dream to brilliant sunlight streaming through the window of the hotel. It went from there. When I finally realized I was in a dream I exited as fast as I could. 4:30 am saw me with a cup of coffee, a couple of smokes, listening to Jimmy and Derrel Sims on Fade to Black the second time through just for the comfort of it, and trust me, there wasn’t much comforting about the subject matter – except that it IS part of the story.

It wasn’t so much the loss of things that got me in the dream, but the loss of love and the ability to connect to that love (phone) or get to that love (car) or hold the memory of that love (memento from my mom). I even wondered if that is what you feel like when you die – stripped of all power to connect to those you love to tell them so. I experienced utter loss and powerlessness. That was the woe.

The wisdom might be that you really can’t hold on to what matters anyway. That is always a gift, a blessing. All else needs to flow through your fingertips like water flowing on life’s current while the warmth of love burns brightly in your heart and warms you to the bones.

“Because”

 

Aaaaaahhhhhh…

Because the world is round it turns me on

Because the world is round…aaaaaahhhhhh

 

Because the wind is high it blows my mind

Because the wind is high…aaaaaaaahhhh

 

Love is old, love is new

Love is all, love is you

 

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry

Because the sky is blue…aaaaaaaahhhh

 

From <https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beatles/because.html>